“There isn’t going to be a blog post this week” is a strange way to start the weekly blog post.
Really, what I mean by this is “there isn’t going to be a blog post of substance this week,” which isn’t the same as “there isn’t going to be a post at all,” but to me it feels like the same thing. I could be pretentious here and cite Gödel, Escher, Bach: An Eternal Golden Braid and talk about chunking my thoughts at the level wherein I no more think of “bad post” than others think of “no post,” but it’s nothing so highbrow. Rather, it’s that I worry about how much attention people will want to pay to a blog that never actually says anything of substance, and I worry about more blathering about “uninteresting” subjects driving away an audience.
This is a crunch-time at work, with several states entering their statewide testing periods for students. This weekend, I’ve been on a phone call every two hours for the last two days reporting on system statuses. This means I have just about enough time to relax into a state wherein I could focus on something I’d like to be doing before yanking myself back to the mundane world to make a work call. I’m ready to scream, but I’m also getting very well paid for my time.
Next weekend is a staff meeting for RainFurrest, followed by a board meeting. The weekend after is the first session of a small LARP that one of my friends is assembling. I’m going to be informing my office that I’m just not available over the weekends and they’ll need to find somebody else to do the reporting. Likely I’ll have to spend a chunk of time during the week documenting how I’m formulating the report so I can hand them off to somebody else. However, in the meantime, this is what I’m doing, and this is why I can’t concentrate.
I finally have something I’d like to be writing. I just don’t have the mental bandwidth to put it together. It takes me a while to sink into a state wherein I can start writing, and I get snapped out of it far too easily at this point. You’d think I’d be better at this after writing three novels, but I really had my groove wrecked between some interpersonal conflicts, home stresses, and the emotional debacle that was my previous employer. I feel like I’m building up my skills almost from nothing again, like I’m at the beginning of my career, looking at the ghosts of my past writing habits and lamenting what might have been as much as building and rebuilding my skills.
One of the things that I’ve been working on as a project is expanding my magical practice, which interestingly ties into Thirteenth Step in some important ways. I may have an opportunity to work on valence bleed if I do it right, and even if I can’t, I’ll be looking forward to the ways in which it fails. In the meantime, though… I have to go prepare for a call.
This is the time, and this is the record of the time.